There weren't many
people at the museum.
“It's crooked,”
Gabe squintingly observed.
The painting hung on
the wall in an awkward position and it looked too heavy for any of
them to try and remedy.
“What?” Peter
suddenly said as he woke up from his stasis.
“The painting. It's
crooked.”
“Oh,” Peter
noticed. He turned to Gabe.
“So...?”
“It's annoying.”
“Maybe it adds to
it,” Peter said looking back at the picture.
“Or maybe it's just
crooked,” Gabe insisted.
It was a painting of a
dance at a village bonfire.
“Who cares then?”
Peter asked.
“They can at least
try and keep their pictures bloody straight on the wall. Is it that
hard?”
“Why don't you try
and straighten it up then?” Peter said. “I mean if it upsets you
so.”
“Why me?”
“Why not? You're the
one whining,” Peter said.
“You're the
athlete,” Gabe replied. “Put them muscles to work.”
“I'm not the one
pouting and kicking the air here,” Peter said.
“Because it doesn't
phase you,” Gabe said not looking him in the eye.
The painting suddenly
became more interesting to him.
“You're all brawn
and no brain,” he added.
The air became tense
as Peter cashed in the insult.
“Why do you always
have to complain about everything?” Peter then said.
“Why do you
always have to not shut up?”
“Just
enjoy the bloody picture!” Peter pleaded.
“It's
freaking crooked!” Gabe yelled.
“Oh,
is it then impossible to behold?” Peter yelled back.
“I
shouldn't have to strain myself for some daft fingerpainting.”
“You're
a bloody fitness instructor!” Peter protested.
“Yeah,
so?” Gabe asked.
“How
is that straining?”
“You
have to be smart about it,” he said pointing at his head.
Peter
looked confused and angered.
“Just
look at it!” he yelled as he tried to subdue Gabe. “Look at the
bloody painting!”
“I
will not,” Gabe yelled at him.
“Do
it!”
“Get
off me, you bloody ape!”
“Look
at the picture!”
They
were making a scene but nobody
from the staff was around to
intervene.
“Hey,
hey!” someone shouted from the way of the entrance. “Hey, come
on, cut that out,” Henry said.
They
wouldn't listen. Henry finally managed to break them apart.
“I
leave you guys alone for, what, five minutes?” he scolded them.
“And you're fighting?”
“It's
bloody crooked,” Gabe pointed at the painting.
“What?”
Henry asked.
“Oh,
shut up Gabe!” Peter said ready to dish out some hard truth.
“Hey,
you both shut up, damn it,” Henry said.
The
two settled down but wouldn't look at each other.
“What
the hell happened?” Henry asked.
They
explained the situation to him.
“You
guys are belligerent fools, I swear,” he said.
They
moved along to a pair of statues of dogs.
“Who
pays to see this crap?” Gabe said.
“You
did, you arse!” Peter told him.
“Can't
you guys behave for a second?” Henry said sighing.
“He's
impossible,” Peter scoffed. “Why did you even come then?”
“Henry
invited me.”
“Maybe
you should've declined his invitation then,” Peter said.
The
argument went on as they passed several bits of the exhibition. Gabe
stopped at a painting of a little girl with a gas mask in a dirty
pink dress. She had a teddy bear in her hand and there was mayhem in
the background.
“Do
you like that?” Henry asked.
Gabe
was zoned out.
“Gabe?”
“Yes?”
he stumbled.
“What's
wrong?”
“Nothing,”
he said having regained his wits.
“It's
a dark picture,” Peter said.
“Oh,
like you'd know anything about art,” Gabe retorted still entranced
by the image.
“Why
can't he?” Henry asked trying to prevent another episode.
“Well
I'm not saying anything about you,” Gabe told Henry. “You're an
artist or whatever. But give Peter a rotten apple with a bite mark
and tell him it's art and you'd fool him.”
“Well
why wouldn't it be art then?” Henry asked.
“Come
on, man,” he said. “Really?”
“Well
if it means anything to anybody,” Henry said. “Then it's art.”
Gabe
looked back at the painting. He was not convinced.
“Do
you like that?” Henry asked again.
“Yes.”
He
was looking at the gas mask intensely.
“Why?”
“I
don't know anything about this kind of stuff. Don't ask me. At least
I've the decency to admit it”
“Well
you said you liked it.”
“I
did.”
“Why
then?”
“I
don't know,” he said. “It's sad.”
Henry
looked at Peter. He was rolling his eyes. After they went through it
all they were outside again in front of the museum. Henry lit a
cigarette.
“That
was nice,” Peter said stretching his hands behind his head.
Gabe
scoffed.
“You're
a fool,” Peter said.
“Oh,
I'm the fool?” Gabe said as if Peter had just walked into
his trap.
“Yes,
you. You're a fool.”
“You're
such a people pleaser, Pete!” Gabe said. “It wouldn't kill you to
just say you don't know shit about shit.”
“What,
can't I enjoy the pretty pictures?”
“But
don't act like you understand any of it!”
“You're
an arse,” Peter said trying to ignore him.
They
of course started wrestling like little girls again and they hit
Henry by mistake who in turn broke a window with his elbow.
“Oh,”
Henry observed.
“See
what you did?” Peter scolded Gabe.
“You
came at me!” Gabe replied.
“Come,
settle,” Henry said. “It's alright.”
“Let's
get out of here,” Peter said.
“It's
just a damn broken window,” Gabe said. “I doubt anyone will
notice.”
It
was noticeable.
“Still,”
Peter started with a guilty look on his face.
As
if it was fate a cop went by.
“Heck,”
Peter said hushedly. “Come on!”
The
other two weren't going to move.
“Play
it cool, mate,” Henry tried to calm him down.
“Come
on,” he insisted as he started walking faster and faster and took a
corner almost running. The cop came at the two and inspected the
broken window.
“Was
this you?” he asked.
“No,”
Gabe said as he was straightening his back apparently stupidly trying
to intimidate the cop.
“No,”
Henry reinforced pushing Gabe back in his place. “We found it like
this.”
“Is
that so?” the policeman asked suspiciously.
“Yeah,”
Gabe added having resumed his previous posture. “It was the guy
running away,” he said ponting towards where Peter had gone.
“Yes,
I saw that,” he said with his hands on his waist.
Henry
kicked Gabe in the shin.
“Aw,”
he yelled.
“What's
that?” the cop asked.
“Nothing,”
Henry answered.
“Well
aren't you going after the culprit then?” Gabe asked.
“Yes,”
Henry added. “We were on our way to a meeting anyway. I hope we
were of some help.”
“Yes,”
the policeman said not paying attention. He turned to call in the
vandalism.
“What
a retard,” Gabe said laughingly as they walked away. “Both Pete
and the cop actually.”
Henry
was silent as they walked along the sidewalk and got to a bar and
pulled his cellphone out as they stood there in front of it.
“What?”
Gabe asked after he got no reply from Henry.
“You
are a fool,” he said dialing Pete's number.
“What?”
Gabe enuntiated pleadingly. “Come on, man. That was hilarious.”
Peter
eventually answered his mobile and they met at a cafe downtown. That
night Peter punched a tooth out of Gabe's mouth.